It Isn't Enough to Love; We Must Prove It

I just finished reading The Happiness Project, picked up during a layover in Atlanta. Tonight, I glanced for the first time at author Gretchen Rubin's site, and her video challenge of the week is to hug more, kiss more, touch more (appropriately, of course). She closes her brief injunction with a quote from St. Therese of Liseux: "It isn't enough to love; we must prove it." (N.B. I know Mom will love this quote, since she urged me to visit her patron saint's chapel last year while I was traveling with a friend in Normandy.)

Reading about a contemporary's search for greater happiness, divided into 12 monthly installments, struck a chord with me, particularly as the reading coincided with the celebration of my birthday, an entree to a new year. I don't know whether to call it stubbornness, procrastination, or simply the hunt for the "just right," but I am still formulating my resolution - my challenge - for this new year of life.

But I'm coming close. A friend posted a birthday wish on my wall, that he hoped this was the beginning of a year full of magic, wisdom and love. And those are the right elements.
This year is a great slate for the lesson of learning to love, in all its formats; to gain wisdom through study and observation; and to embrace magic.

Rubin talks about being open to happiness and "acting happy" as ways to increase her enjoyment and that of others. Further, she observes that she has a tendency to pick at people and ideas and to voice displeasure or disagreement when it is not necessary. Everyone has someone in his or her life who is simply likeable. My godfather, Uncle Jack, always responded to "How are you?" with "Never better, dear." He was unflappably positive and pleasant to be around. On a recent work trip, I met a new colleague and observed how this person approached others, with a curiosity and enthusiasm, expressed through a sweet, almost gentle voice and manner. What a remarkable effect these two had on others.

Wisdom. I was humbled during this trip to South America to realize what a "free pass" people from my country often have, speaking only their own language. Immersed in Spanish during the day and flirting with Brazilian Portguese at night, I realized my limitations of expression. And fortunately, the new location gives me a wonderful platform to learn how to communicate more thoroughly. I have a boss and a workplace that are supportive of my French (if I pass the exam next week) and Spanish classes, not to mention hotbeds of opportunity for practice. And I have a fully international city where it is as likely to see postings for language exchange as for salsa class or running group on electronic bulletin boards.

Magic is everywhere. Magic is the felicity of having opportunities open, of having fulfilling work and wonderful colleagues. Magic is my colleague Claudia's Blackberry pictures of single flowers in glass vases, her small observation of beauty. Magic is that perfect bite of blue cheese and fresh Swiss bread. Magic is recognizing the gift of having so many people celebrate my birthday, in person, over the phone, and online. I think birthdays like this remind me that it really does make a difference to spend a moment of time to let another person know he or she is in your thoughts. What richness!


Love. Teach me, friends. I know how to love a puppy. I know how to love my clever godson whose hand-drawn birthday card was to "Aunt 4 (quatre sounds like Cat in French)." I know how to love my work. I know how to love a moment in time. An example is going to a churrascaria and a circus on my birthday. Meat and clowns. But I was smiling the whole day. Because the experience of travel, trying out new experiences, and being in great company made me happy. And this is the challenge - to learn to love more and better. How do you do it?

Que este sea el inicio de un año lleno de magia, sabiduría y amor.